7 Things You Should NEVER Say to Someone in AA — Even If You Mean Well
Supporting a loved one in recovery is a noble and compassionate thing to do—but sometimes, even well-meaning words can do more harm than good. If someone you know is part of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), it’s important to understand what not to say…….CONTINUE READING
Here are 7 things you should NEVER say to someone in AA—and what you can say instead:
❌ 1. “Just one drink won’t hurt.”
Why it’s wrong:
For someone in recovery, one drink is never “just one.” It could trigger a full relapse and undo months or years of hard work.
What to say instead:
“I admire your strength for staying sober. Let me know how I can support you.”
❌ 2. “Are you still going to those meetings?”
Why it’s wrong:
This may sound like you’re questioning their commitment or implying that they should be “done” by now.
What to say instead:
“I’m glad you’ve found a place that helps you stay strong.”
❌ 3. “I didn’t think you had a problem.”
Why it’s wrong:
This invalidates their experience and can make them feel misunderstood or judged.
What to say instead:
“It takes courage to face personal struggles. I respect that you did.”
❌ 4. “Why can’t you just control it?”
Why it’s wrong:
Addiction is a disease, not a matter of weak willpower. This question shows a lack of understanding.
What to say instead:
“I’m here to listen and learn more about what you’re going through.”
❌ 5. “You were more fun when you drank.”
Why it’s wrong:
This is hurtful, triggering, and selfish. It focuses on your entertainment instead of their well-being.
What to say instead:
“You’re doing amazing, and I’m proud of who you’re becoming.”
❌ 6. “Don’t you miss drinking?”
Why it’s wrong:
This could stir up cravings or doubts. Recovery is a daily battle—they don’t need reminders of temptation.
What to say instead:
“What helps you stay grounded and motivated on tough days?”
❌ 7. “So you can never drink again?”
Why it’s wrong:
This adds unnecessary pressure and anxiety. AA emphasizes “one day at a time” for a reason.
What to say instead:
“I support your journey, today and always.”
Recovery is deeply personal. If you’re unsure what to say, just listen. Presence, empathy, and respect go further than any advice ever could.
